Thursday, January 9, 2014

Crime against Grammar












It was 8am, and I heard my door bell ring. I would love to say I had been up for an hour and was just finishing the last ten minutes of my Thigh Master routine, but the truth is I was fast asleep. I’ve been sleeping in a lot lately—like for the past thirty plus years. 

The door bell had been rung by the maintenance guy at my apartment complex. He told me that someone had hit my car and shattered my tail light. It was a hit and run!

Who could it have been? Who would shatter the tail light of a poor, innocent grammarmobile in the dead of night and just take off?  It had to be someone who hates grammar.

So I did some investigating, and I came across an article about the celebrities with the worst grammar on Twitter.
I narrowed it down, and I came to the conclusion that it must have been Jessica Alba. 

She has always been jealous of my looks.


11 comments:

Andrew Leon said...

I think it was the maintenance guy trying to throw off suspicion.

Shelly said...

Dastardly villain!

Duncan D. Horne - the Kuantan blogger (大哥) said...

I wonder who else was on the list before you narrowed it down?!

DWei said...

Yeah... I wish I could sleep in too, but I've been trying my best to go to the gym in the morning. :(

the late phoenix said...

it was Snoop Lion...except his twitter mistakes are intentional and gangsta...it was Kendall Jenner...no, wait, if Kendall's there...it was Harry Styles, yes, definitely Harry Styles.

DiscConnected said...

I thought Jessica was always jealous of your ride, too!

I still do not have a good understanding of what Twitter is-it sounds like it's like texting with a twit...er...twist.

I would think most people on Twitter have horrible grammar-most texts I see are pretty bad.

To remedy this, I am proposing a new law that carries the death penalty.

Anyone who is not a 14 year-old girl whose texts read like a 14 year-old girl are immediately found guilty (no trial, no jury).

Their cell phone priveleges are immediately forfeit for the rest of their lives (you didn't really think I meant kill them, didja?).

LC

David Macaulay said...

Think it was certainly Jessica - you can always get a career as a detective if the old English thing gets too much ...

cestlavie22 said...

I am sorry to hear about your car but I don't think I could believe such a thing about the adorable Jessica Alba!

Theresa Milstein said...

But you and Jessica Alba have similar hair. I just can't believe she'd do that. I'll have to check her grammar errors to confirm your theory.

Nas said...

If not Jessica, then who could it have been?

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